Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The very idea of blogging is generally repulsive to me.  I expect it to be filled with pretension, or an invitation into a world I otherwise so strive to keep private.  My wife reads dozens of blogs, and spends time really "getting to know" the authors.  She loves this girl, and thinks this couple's marriage is just beautiful.  Blogging is a funny projection to me.  Certainly, I'm going to keep my psychoses to myself here, and I'd hope that if I didn't, I'd receive rebuke from others for using a public forum to show you my dirty laundry.  So from the outset, let's get straight that though I'd like to pretend that this is who I really am, it won't likely be.  
  This is actually my reason for writing.  Occasionally, the Holy Spirit reveals some truth to me that is too good to keep to myself.  I typically share it with my wife, small group, one of the people I'm discipling, or my journal.  In some ways blogging seems to be platform to be both more authentic and more fake.  More authentic in that there is a distance between my words and who I am.  Because there are social expectations that condition the way we all act, it is sometimes hard to press conversations with certain people to levels of appropriate depth.  Whether I like it or not, I'm a funny guy.  There is sometimes a disconnect between where I want to go and where someone else wants to go.  Here, it doesn't really matter where you want to go.  Your role is simply observer.  I will direct conversations where I/the Spirit leads them, and if you are unwilling to follow me, you'll simply stop reading.  
    It is at the same time less authentic.  Because I have full control over the direction of the conversation, I get to play both sides of the dialogue.  This makes things very different than a real conversation.  Yes I know you can comment etc., but that ends up being quite after the fact.  Its like when you were in a rowdy elementary school class and you had the "talking stick" or "talking stuffed fish" or whatever, only she who had the item was permitted to talk.  No one could challenge, question, disagree with her until she was prepared.  So, if she's smart, she simply talks until she thinks she has overcome all potential objections.  This is likely what I'll do.
   Okay, enough pretension.  Let's see how one posts this thing!